Wild Horses
by louiselane
Summary: What is really love? Illyria was determined in find out and Wesley will help her with that.


**TITLE:** Wild Horses  
**AUTHOR:** Louise  
**SUMMARY:** What is really love? Illyria was determined in find out and Wesley will help her with that.  
**RATING:** Nc-17  
**CLASSIFIED:** Romance  
**DISCLAIMER:** None of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction belong to me. They belong to the cast and crew of Angel, especially Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy and Fox.  
**DISTRIBUTION:** Permission granted to WNW, Blue Moon Rising, Gifted, Not a Smurf, Fanfiction Net, Inevitable and Private Poetry Reading . If anyone else wants to archive it, please let me know.  
**FEEDBACK:** Very much appreciated. Please e-mail me at   
**PAIRING:** Illyria/Wesley  
**SPOILER:** Time Bomb  
**DEDICATION:** To Lara who betaed me and gives me wonderful tips, and for Ann who keeps inspired me with more Wes/Illyria stories. And of course, to the wonderful people of Wfsurvivors and weslyria. You totally rock!  
**A/N :** The song "Wild Horses" is by Rolling Stones

Wesley was working in his office as usual when Illyria arrived, again disturbing his work. She was acting odd that day even though she was still the same Illyria for the most part - arrogant, bitter, stubborn. She made Wesley remember an old horse he used to ride in England when he was on holiday with his family.

The horse was beautiful but difficult, never trusting anyone but Wesley. He had named it Zeus after the Greek god. Zeus had been a very good friend and let only Wesley ride him until the day he died from disease that no vet could treat.

Illyria was similar to Zeus in so many ways - she was difficult like him and again Wesley seemed to be the only person she trusted. She continued growing closer to him though she was the reason Fred was dead.

But even though she was still imperious and stubborn, Illyria seemed different that day, more lost and stranger than ever.

"Odd. It doesn't exist until it cracks apart," she said, observing the movements of her arms.

"What's that?" he asked, confused but still reading the text on the open page of his template.

"Time," she answered.

"You don't look altogether well." He gazed up at her concern. "Are you okay?"

"Your opinion of me weighs less than sunlight."

"Illyria, don't be so stubborn! I want to help you !"

"I don't need your help! I'm Illyria God-king of Primordium"

"Shaper of the things. Yes, I know. But you have to let me help you, Illyria. You don't look very well today." He continued to attempt to explain the situation to her, but he knew it was probably useless.

"I do not bend to your wishes." She was acting like a spoiled child complaining about a toy she couldn't play with.

"I tell you what. If you let me help you, I'll buy some flowers and plants to decorate the training room. You do like them, don't you?"

"Yes. It's amusing to hear their songs," she answered with a smile. Then suddenly, she grabbed her stomach in pain. "All Right, I will, but only because I don't feel very well. Otherwise, I don't need anybody's help."

In Fred's lab, Illyria sat on one of the tables while Wesley studied her. She was looking weaker and more fragile than ever, and Wes wanted to help her though he knew he couldn't get Fred back. He couldn't help himself. He understood Illyria wasn't Fred at all, but he felt compassion with her and needed to help her to find her way in the world.

Illyria watched him, observing all his movements and expressions. Of all humans she had met since her resurrection, Wesley was the least pathetic of them. And she had been developing some sort of...feeling for him, though she wasn't sure what they really meant, so she had been trying to ignore them for a while now.

"What is love?" she suddenly asked him.

"Why are you asking that?" he responded, confused by her behavior.

Her eyes on him, she cocked her head. "I don't know. The shell felt love for you before she died. I would like to know what love really means."

"Well, Illyria..." Wesley cleared his throat before starting to explain. "When you care with someone...who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, when you can't breathe, speak or think of anything besides that someonethat's love."

"Solove is a sickness?"

"No, I mean...some people can be sick with love, but it isn't a disease. It's a good thing."

"You still love Fred, don't you?"

"Yes."

"But she is dead and you still feel grief for her."

"Yes. I still love Fred, and nothing can change that. Not even..." Wesley stared into her icy blue eyes before completing his sentence. Damn it! Why did she have to look like Fred? That was the most painful thing for him. "Death," he finally choked out with tears in his eyes.

Before she realized what she was doing, Illyria reached up to caresses his hair, passing her hand down to his face, where she wiped away his tears. She was feeling compassion for him. She had been trapped in this body for too long. She didn't like to see him crying, knowing that she was responsible for his pain...and that was something that she should have been forced to feel as a God-King. She should have been above such things.

She was still caressing his face when she pressed her lips As their tongues collided together, Wesley could feel the warmth emanating from her and didn't understand what that really meant. He wanted to stop, but his body refused to obey his brain.

"What hell are you doing?" he demanded after he managed to pull himself out of the kiss.

"Kissing you. I... wish to explore it further. It's part of human emotions, is it not?"

"Yesbut you have to ask first. It's not polite-."

"You kissed Fred twice before without asking her, so I thought I could do the same," she interrupted him.

"That was different. I loved her. You couldn't possibly love me..." The former Watcher was still confused with the whole situation.

"I don't know; however I wish to explore these emotions I am experiencing."

Wesley found himself intrigued in spite of himself. Could Illyria possibly love? He wasn't sure of that, but she had been developing more noticeable human emotions in the past few days, so anything was possible. The anger he had been carrying around for so long began to dissolve slightly as he gazed at her.

"Let me try something," he said before bringing his mouth back to hers.

"So?" she asked when they parted again, curious about his reaction.

"Not as bad as I would have thought," he admitted. "Maybe it's not so bad having you around."

"You are my guide in this world, so it is your duty to show me everything, even that related to love."

"I already told you about love, and we kissed... although I think it was you teaching me a bit there. What else do you want to learn?"

"About Sex. This intrigues me."

"Sex? No...I can't do that Illyria. I..." But Wesley stopped his refusals when Illyria started to lick his neck, sending his mind spinning. "All right. I can't say no to you, can I? You are very persuasive. But we can't do anything here."

"I have an idea," she replied with what almost seemed to be a naughty grin.

They left the lab and took the elevator to the training room. When the elevator door closed, Illyria started to kiss Wesley's neck again.

"Illyria, we can't do this here, either." He knew, however, it was impossible to deny her. She almost made him forget his protests when she opened his shirt and caressed his chest. "All right, can you remove your hand?" he asked when the elevator opened.

Once inside the training room, Wesley locked the door before turning around to find that Illyria had removed her body armor and was standing there nude.

"You really do what to do this," he breathed out in amazement

Illyria helped Wesley take his clothes off and drew him down to the floor with her. He was nervous about this because he had never thought he would ever have sex with her. With Fred, yes, but not with her. However, Fred wasn't there anymore though her body still was.

_Childhood living is easy to do  
The things you wanted I bought them for you  
Graceless lady you know who I am  
You know I can't let you slide through my ha_nds

Illyria leaned over him, pressing her cold body against him. She started to caress his chest again, making him groan. Wesley felt a shiver run through his body when she touched him - she was very able with her hands.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away,  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away _

Wesley ran his hand through her beautiful blue hair. He had never believed he would think that about Illyria, but she was a beautiful woman. Not that it was a surprise; after all, Illyria was part of Fred, who had always been the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

_I watched you suffer a dull aching pain,  
Now you've decided to show me the same  
No sweeping exits or offstage lines  
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind _

Stretching out on the cold floor, he started to kiss her neck, which caused Illyria to hum softly. She pressed her lips against his, but this time, he stopped her when he decided to make her feel some true pleasure as well.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away,  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away _

Illyria trembled as he kissed her belly. Then when he started to suck her breasts, she moaned out loud.

"Very impressive," she murmured. She enjoyed the sensation of Wesley pleasuring her.

As it turned out, Wesley didn't have to explain or show her much about sex - she was a fast learner and picked up much by instinct. When he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Lated they switched places so Wesley was over her, and Illyria caressed her fingers through his hair as they exchanged looks.

"It is my turn to give you pleasure," she commanded with what he was now sure was a naughty grin. A moment later, she started licking him, making him groan.

When they decided to rest for a bit, Wesley studied her, not sure what he was feeling. Except for her blue coloring, she looked so much like Fred...and for some reason, that made him feel good.

_I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie,  
I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried,  
Let's do some living after we die _

"Why are you staring at me?" she inquired out of curiosity.

"Nothing It's just...you look so like Fred," he explained before kissing her neck.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away,  
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day _

"I can assume her shape if you wish." Her revalation shocked him.

"What? How?"

Suddenly, Illyria lost her blue coloring as she transformed into how Fred had appeared before she had gotten sick, before she had died -- the same face, eyes, mouth, hair. "I can please you like Fred would were she still alive," she offered and started to kiss him again.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away,  
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day_

"Fred?" Wesley asked in confusion, pushing her away slightly to allow him to see her better. She was naked. She was smiling. She was Fred.

"It's me, Wesley," Illyria answered with Fred's accent. "I'm here to share this moment with you."

When she giggled and pressed her lips to his, Wesley couldn't resist anymore. He had always dreamt with this moment, and although he was aware that she wasn't really Fred, that she was only pretending to be her, that didn't matter to him. He just needed her gentle touch and warming kiss, no matter how he got it.

"Oh, Fred I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too, Wesley!" She caressed his face before kissing him deeply again.

How he had ached for this -- kissing Fred. They had so few times together before she had died, and Illyria was helping him to relive that, to have those moments again.

They lay entwined together on floor before Wesley moved down to suck at her breasts and kiss her belly, causing her to tremble.

"Oh, Wes," she moaned.

"Oh, Fred," he growled back.

Suddenly, Illyria grabbed his hair, forcing him to roll off her so they could switch placed. "I wish to please you again," she said in her own voice. "I'll have you kneeling at my feet, begging for more, when I'm finished with you."

"Illyria, just shut up and do it!" he snapped back at her.

"As you wish!"

Illyria raked her nails over Wesley's chest so hard that red welts appeared, bleeding slightly.

"Easy, Illyria," he gasped out.

She nibbled at his ear, drawing out groans of ecstasy as she positioned herself over him, sliding his erection into her. The feel of him made her feel alive, like she was actually part of his world. As they moved against each other in rhythm together, she leaned down to kiss his chest, neck and shoulders, delighting when he trembled beneath her.

When they finally finished, while Wesley got dressed, Illyria resumed her blue form and put her armor back into place.

"So, what do you think of sex now that you've tasted it?" Wesley inquired out of curiosity.

"Very impressive. I did not realize that humans could please themselves in such ways. It's very amusing. I enjoy it!"

"Good. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," he said with a slight smile that faded as what they had done suddenly hit him fully. "Oh my God! What had I done?"

"Wesley, I know what are you thinking...but you didn't. You did not betray Fred. It's her body I'm using. It was her body having intercourse with you," the blue God-King told him.

"I know, Illyria...but even so...I still feel like I'm betraying her-her memory."

Suddenly, Illyria felt another cramp in her stomach before a glowing blue fracture appeared across her cheek. "What is happening to me?"

"I think your power is overloading Fred's body," a worried Wesley explained to her . "We need to go to the lab. I have a device that can bleed off your powers without harming you."

"I can't live without my powers. I'm too great. This body is just pathetic and useless - humans cannot sustain my true glory! I-."

Another glowing blue fracture opened on her check just then, making her change her mind. "All right. I don't want to die again. Help me, Wesley."

"We have to get to the lab quickly. Do you think you still can manage to open a portal there?"

"I think I can," she answered before conjuring a portal and walking through with Wesley's support.

In the lab, he retrieved the Mutari Generator and used it to take away her powers so she wouldn't explode. "I blame your species for this!" she exclaimed before collapsing to the floor.

When Illyria later awoke, she was in Wolfram & Hart's hospital wing with Wesley sitting watch by her bedside. Spike and Angel stood at the doorway, observing with suspicion.

"Are you all right?" Wesley asked, his voice filled with concern.

"No, I'm not all right. I do not have my powers anymore; how can I be all right?" she answered, furious at him.

"I know you are frustrated now, but you will get used to it."

Spike and Angel headed down the hall to the elevator. "Huh!" Spike said when the lift arrived and they entered.

"What?" Angel asked.

"I smelled something while we were in there..."

"Yeah, me too. Like they had sex..."

"That's what my nose said too, mate...but do you think they really did?"

"Well, Wesley has been...overly obsessed with Illyria since she was resurrected, so anything is possible."

In the hospital wing, Wesley was helping Illyria out of bed so they could leave.

"Come on. You can stay at my place until you get better. Now that your powers have been reduced, you'll need to be more careful. You aren't invincible anymore."

"I know. Though I'm not totally without powers - one still remains," she revealed with a smile.

"Which one is that?" he asked just as Illyria became Fred again.

"I can still assume Fred's shape anytime I want. And still do that again. Can we go to your home now?"

"As you wish," Wesley answered with his own naughty grin before kissing her again.

**The End**


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